2010 Letters of Intent
2009 Letters of Intent
Accept this as my official entry letter please sir.
I hereby announce my intent to be the fattest slow boy, or slowest fat boy, whichever is easier to attain, at the great Fall Tour oh ten. I'll tell you what I told the last guy I passed at ORAMM '06 : "I can go this slow all damn day, son."
My LOI is here by presented to the Fall Tour Board! I am requesting a entry fee to keep up with all you old |=ucker's.
Thank you again.
Whereas I am of relative sound mind and body, I am hereby forthwith declaring myself as intent therein to ride and abide in said grass roots stage race, heretofore to be deemed the Fall Tour. Due to previously scheduled events beyond my control, I will present myself for the Prologue and Epilogue.
To whomever it may concern,
I intend on participating in all of the Fall Tour. If there are no objections and it is not 100+ frickin degrees.
It is my intention to race the grand tour all four days and come home with the sprinters jersey. To take a jersey at the worlds most prestigious mountain stage race is a life long dream of mine. I have trained 2 hours every day since August of last year. I am more than ready for this years tour! All you others are two or more months behind. Its to late now there is nothing you can do.
I, Lush, hereby submit my letter of intent to ride the weekend portions of the ride that is known as the Fall Tour. I would like to personally extent a friendly handshake towards Charlie Bomber, who will have a run for his money in the category he predicted he would take in this Tour. I also hereby say, that if I can live up to my name while I am not riding, or perhaps while I am, I would serve the Fall Tour well, in this my inaugural ride. May I not get lost, and if I do, may it be for the very best of reasons.
Another year, another few broken bones, one new child (future yellow jersey holder, Elliot Finn), a wicked debilitating reaction to Seed Ticks and a gracious plenty of time OFF the bike I scribe my Letter of Intent to the grandest of the grand Southern tours organizers. Thank you organizers for bringing the mileage down to a lackys potential as I hope to not finish DFL (though it wouldn't surprise me). BRING ON THE HILLS OF PAIN AND DELIGHT! And, oh yeah, we'll be bringing the Turkey for the cold and weary.
HD aka Howie DANGER
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day. This day we fight. We will storm the podium, and if it will not yield, I'll at least take that damn KOM jersey.
In for all 4. days. Joe Dunlop
I intend to crash less often than I open beer bottles. I'll be there two days at least.
My entry is paid in full and my schedule is clear so I intend to drink many a beer! Dale's trail is almost ready for a prologue of epic proportions! All ya'll old big and slow smack talkers I intend to best your oldness, bigness, and slowness! Please accept my letter of intent oh humble fall tour masters.
This year,for the first time is history of the world,The Transylvanian...ian...ian...will attend this awesome event ! If I where you I would hope NOT to have any full moon nights,if you know what I meen...I will try to make all stages and challenge the best mountain biker out there,if that doesn't work,I can probably beat you at beer drinking and bloodsucking !
P.S.Bring some garlic if you want to sleep well...HA,HA,HA !
I, D, intend to make my way to the Republic of Georgia for the 10th annual Fall Tour to partake from the Prologue to La Pachanga and everything in between. Boone is bringing a full team to challenge the mountains. By day and by campfire we will relive Tours past with friends old and new. I want to thank veterans for returning to mountain biking and to new grand tour riders, willing to take a chance on new chapters of their careers. I also want to thank everyone who have come together to make these 10 Tours happen. Those who watch from the sidelines, we welcome you and hope you will appreciate what goes into pulling off a grand tour and will help us continue this tradition for years to come.
I formally submit this as my letter of intent and humbly request an opportunity for revenge on "The Ladder".
2009 Fall Tour finish.... DFL, 2010 Boone Binge finish... DFL. Whether these finishes be from mechanicals or competitors DNFing, the result will not be the same. I, GA Drew, Fatboy, web-master, DawgFan, drew, whatever, am hereby dedicating heart, mind and body to the South's biggest and most prestigious event the 10th Annual Fall Tour.
Will my recent drinking binges prepare me for a run RockStar Jersey? Will a new bike make me faster? Will my dreaming about riding make me faster? Does packing on the pounds for a 4 day stage race really help? Will running tubeless tires really help me from triple flatting? Will my closest competitors bow out on the final day? Will Gentry make a run at the Sprinters Jersey? Can the Republic of Georgia take back yellow and reclaim all of the Fall Tour jerseys? Can Dickey and KT crack the top 5 again? These questions and many more will be answered at the 2010 Fall Tour.
Committee of them Hills,
After an intense August training camp and great conditioning at the binge (GC rider)... My SRM, V02, and BMI readings are on target and even better than Coach Carmichael had predicted. My family, fans, and sponsors are excited to have the 10th Fall Tour close at hand. With that said, I hereby announce a 4 day run for a place AHEAD of "hillbilly vodka lovin" Dickey Dog on GC. Anyone with GC aspirations, watch out...rumors abound that some brash NC boys have already put claims on yellow. WHAT?.... No way Jose'.I'd rather see yellow go to California first. Those crazy Daniel Boone bike bandits must have smacked there heads together while playing polo naked in the rain. Everyone knows the jersey is sweet GEORGIA bound.
Side note to all tour riders...
The trails are getting right and tight thanks to, KT "moto-trailmaster"... specifically... Big Ridge... Recently proven to be a "World Class Super D". Record setting times will, fo' sho', be posted on this screamer!
***Hillbilly vodka will be avail. upon request.***caution advised***
I Jacob Meyer Herby give my official letter of intent to join the
glorious and almighty of stage races known as the Fall Tour. Let it
rain and be god awful cold.
After taking "The Man" out in the prologe! I plan to use the same old tactics from years past..Finish. With hopes the days will be long and the weather cold this should put me somewhere ahead of DFL! It looks to be a tuff race for the Rock Star jersey this year though..some competition will be nice! I know I have to keep Nasty from ahead of me for I know the fumes will be too great that I would never recover(and only sip the hillbilly vodka). This, my 8th in a row! Should be a Grand Fall Tour!
The Winter-Shirey's will be in full effect at the Tour-of-the-DECADE. As the Mayan Prophecy moves closer toward fulfillment; as the Earth bulges while the moon travels it's path around her circumference; as a weary, parched, sun beaten traveler searches for water in the desert; as the riders of the TOUR search for soul-sustenance, so too does the Tour move onward.
Thanks to the ones who do their part, whether that be working on the trails, organizing, ponying-up the bucks or showing-up.
We plan on having "the family" represented on every stage, and plan to see our son Asa top of the podium as the best young rider. As foretold in the prophecies of the Mayans, and Nostre Damus, I will win the Big Ridge Downhill, and every sprint I'm involved in and if the moon and stars aren't completely F-ed up I've got a really good chance at winning at least one stage, if not the whole sh-bang.
I'll have to let Erin do her own Sh__ talking, but as you can imagine she is gonna rip most of ya'll's legs off.
You jokers are all in big trouble.
Yeah, we're in.
See you at D's place.
Jeff and Family
Esteemed Fall Tour Committee,
I intend to ride like a kid on his first bike,
to ride with no hands and eyes closed,
without deeper meaning, in the moment.
Beginning to end!
My last, and only, appearance at the grandest of all tours was an off the couch effort in 2003 where I spent the better part of 3 days with the sweeper, Dan Laflamme. This year I am unleashing the cobras, drinking Jameson for breakfast, and bringing my own broom. Don't get swept.
To Whom it May Concern,
Due to the overwhelmingly convincing promises from YT, of lush gardens of Southern Bell B*tches and sweet Georgia Peaches, I can not possibly sit at home and watch reruns of Dukes of Hazard while such a qualified war party from the Boone-Town converges on Georgia to pursue certain victory. For these most infamous days in the great state of Georgia do beckon thy southward. Also on another note due to the impersonation of myself by someone other than myself....I shall have to appear at this "grandest of tours" on behalf of my other self. The Devil did go down to Georgia... and I would assume it was for none other than the Fall Tour.
note to the Reader:
(to be read with a Colonel Sanders swagger)
Although neither of sound mind nor body, the distant call of the mountains beckons, and I must heed. Hence, I do hereby declare my intention to participate in this year's prestigious and esteemed Fall Tour.
To the Commitee:
I, Slavy a.k.a Slavco, hereby announce my triumphant return to the Redneck Republic. The great state of Kaliforny has requested that I travel to Gawja on a mission of peace and enlightment. My goal is not to possess the yellow jersey, but to change your redeneck ways and show those living outside the smugness of Kaliforny the true path to awesomness. I will provide daily teachings on the benefits of wind and solar power, hybrid cars, and why everyone should be vegan. If needed, I will gladly provide a map-reading and orienteering course for the lost boys(YT & Spew) so they will have one less excuse for losing the Tour. Unfortunately, my travel visa will only allow me to be present for stages 1-4, therefore missing the Prologue and the podium girls at Toppers, which I truly regret.
With Great Disrespect,
Slavy a.k.a Slavco
It is most natural to experience a rapid climb to new heights through the miracle of conversation. A poth I carry Shamen Amen. I'm in 2012 11:11. A new beginning is near. Best while you have it use your breath. You can't smoke after death!
YT MDCCIXXVI UNUMRE
I, Benjy, you can call me City Boy, will be travelling outside of the perimeter of Atlanta for the great Fall Tour. My intent is to keep the KOM jersey for another year. Family life in the city has given me the chance to train all summer in the shimmering smog of late afternoon. The lungs are prepared and should open up nicely in the cool vapors snaking up from the frosty mountain coves.
- City Boy
I'm in for Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I'm pissed I can't make the last day, I have a trail bid walk thru that day. Some of the best stuff happens on the last day.
Please accept my letter of intent ride the weekend sections of The Fall Tour 2010. I will attempt to keep up with the fat boy Lush and not get lost with him. I will drag my wife Krista kicking and screaming to the trail. Once on the bike she will dominate Team Anchor and make the rest of us fat a$$es hurt to keep up with her.
Clay Combs "CC"
Yo!... I appreciate the invite to this prestigious event! I plan to the best of my ability to atttend and finish all 5 stages of the Fall Tour and will prolly be bringing up the rear behind Team Anchor..... DFL, but most of all looking forward to partaking in all the b4 and after ride festivities. That is how I will Roll... This will surely be an event to remember!!
Dwayne Allen "D-Money"
I, Josh, hereby throw my name into the hat for the weekend portion of the 2010 Fall Tour. After spending multiple days at a secret training location deep in the NC Forest and sleepless nights of staying up watching all 196 episodes of "Walker, Texas Ranger" 3 times each, I feel I am completely prepared to dominate Team Anchor.
If not, may I at least block enough wind for Clay and Lush to draft!! ha ha suckas
Josh "the reverend Horton heat"
Letter of Mother F-ing Intent
Count me in!!!...I'm bringing the Single Speed hurt!!!...please don't tell anyone I'm talking Smack....
To Whom it may concern,
I hereby declare that I intend to partake in all 5 stages of The Fall Tour 2010. After missing the Tour in 2009, I am back!. I am setting my sights high this year, for another Prologue win. Yes it may be the shortest timed section of the Tour, but its the quickest way to the yellow jersey. My new training method, of not riding, is going to pay off. So everyone else might as well set their sights on second place. I am eagre to see what sort of voodoo will be brought down from Boone, Cali and elsewhere. The 10th anniversery of The Fall Tour is going to be something no one will ever forget. Some of you will come home with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and others may never return. But those who make it through will be born again. And as the wise man Dickey said " Lets get stupid!!!".
P.S. Bring your own damn spare derailleur, cause I'm not giving you mine!
I have finally been lured out of my shipping container by the likes of dirty d, spew, and YT to make my first and only grand tour of the year. I fully expect a jersey sweep by team Boone and in order to ensure that this happens, I am bringing the likes of wild wild West with me to help with the dirty work. Be prepared.
I'm in it to finish it!
Letter of Intent: I'll be there. Going slowly while most likely solving the mysteries of the universe.
I solemnly swear to engage in all Fall Tour activities to the best of my ability.
Due to fortuitous circumstances, I am happy to submit my first letter of intent for my first time attending multiple stages of the Fall Tour.
Planning on arriving for post Stage 1 festivities and staying through stage 3 and post ride dinner.
Not looking for glory, just stellar scenery, getting back in touch with some old trails and friends, and making acquaintance with some new ones.
The only heat I'll be bringing will be in the form of home grown, organic garlic, hot peppers, FarmerG's Three Pepper and Lots of Garlic Hot Sauce and some fresh horseradish. Oh yeah...and I've got a bit of that hillbilly vodka too :-).
My intent is to endure four long grueling out of shape days with the sole purpose of turning over the ROCK STAR award to those willing to step up. Everyone knows the rock star award is the only one you remember year after year. For those who think they have the Mettle to stand up and stay up late and ride hard do remember that even though everyone else will remember your great efforts you may not have any recollection. So I will be there to pass the award with Dickey being the front runner.
Jake Kiser Former Rockstar
Get ready Dickey!!!
I, Hiker X, will descend on your tour with all the savagery of a hungry thru-hiker. I will float your keg, burn your forest, and eat all of your food. Hide your valuables.
Due to the fact that i am not of sound mind and body, i will only be able to participate on saturday for this wonderous event. therefore, i will be arriving at ewok village at approx. 9:00 saturday morning and staying for the duration. i will be driving back up over patterson gap to return to the warmth of my bed space late saturday evening
I am intending to win the party on saturday night, and the stage win on sun. Will be taking the YT up the the road in the mean time